howtomotivatesomeonewhoisstuckinarut.mp3 - powered by Happy Scribe

You're listening to the MentalNotes podcast. In this episode, founder Scott Dow helps you motivate someone that's stuck in a rut.

So motivating people is like following a Tex-Mex recipe. If you don't have the right ingredients, it's really hard to get it right. Now I'm a Texan, and any Texan will tell you that you need chili, you need cheese, and you need onions to make really good Tex-Mex food. Motivation works the same way. You need the right ingredients, and I'm going to tell you what they are.

The first thing you need is desire. The person has to want something. Now think about it, if they don't want anything, there's nothing to get motivated about. Second ingredient is direction. They have to know what to do and how to do it. They have to have a plan. It's really hard to be motivated if you don't know where to start. The final ingredient is confidence. Trust me. You can't motivate someone that's absolutely convinced that they're going to fail.

People typically fall into three categories. They either one, lack desire, two, they have desire, but lack direction, or three, they have direction, but no confidence. Now the people that lack desire, we think of them as being lazy, but they're just stuck in the comfort zone. The people that have desire, but no direction, we think of these people as lack in commitment, but they're just lost. They need some direction. The people that have direction but no confidence, now these people can come across as being resistant or having a bad attitude. In reality, they're just worried about failing, they're worried about looking bad.

If someone lacks desire, just use whatever motivation they have in the moment. Focus them on easier tasks and try to set shorter term goals. If they don't have a lot to give, don't ask a lot. If someone lacks direction, then you want to simplify their tasks. Answer their questions and eliminate as much uncertainty as possible. That's going to provide the clarity people need to engage. And finally, if they lack confidence, encourage them to play to their strengths. Or you can reference their past experience, the relevant past experience that creates a positive memory for them.

Now if that doesn't work, if you don't have access to relevant strengths or experience, you can offer vicarious reinforcement. Just point out someone that they identify with that's having success.

These are three ways to build desire, direction and confidence. You can take these ingredients, follow the recipe and cook up some motivation. You can practice this on yourself too, it's a great way to self-motivate. Just focus on short-term tasks, simplify your plan and play to your strengths.

Now a couple final, quick takeaways. First thing is this, motivation ebbs and flows. So you have to think of this as an ongoing process. And the second thing is this, momentum is very motivating. Little quick wins build desire, direction and confidence, and build momentum over time, and build motivation over time.