If/ThenTechnique.mp3 - powered by Happy Scribe

You're listening to the MentalNotes podcast. In this episode, founder Scott Dow explains the if/then coaching technique.

If people are making excuses, then I have a technique for you. I'm going to explain what it is; in fact, I just used it. But before I do, let me share a little context. When you give directions, you're going to get some pushback, and it's called an excuse. And the excuse is going to sound something like this, "I can't do what you want because..." And you can fill in the blank after "because" with any number of different reasons. This is the most common form of excuse-making, and it's called can't-because thinking: "I can't do it because..."

Now, there are different variations of can't-because thinking. My daughter is the master of, "Oh, dad, I'd love to, but..." She wants to let Dad down easy so she replaces "can't" with "I'd love to", and she replaces "because" with "but." It sounds better, but it's still a can't-because excuse; it's a very elegant excuse, but it's still a can't-because excuse.

But people don't make excuses because they're lazy, they make excuses when they're stressed. They can stress about the deadline or the resources at their disposal; there's any number of different reasons that cause stress. Whatever the case is, their stress comes from a lack of confidence. And that's why this is such a great coaching opportunity.

So how do you coach your way through an excuse? Let's go back to what I first said. I said, "If someone's making excuses, then use this coaching technique." And I said two key words: I said "if" and I said "then." The words "if" and "then" provide you a simple formula: if you run into this problem, then try this solution. That's why we call it if/then coaching, and it's designed to reduce stress by building confidence.

So how do you practice the technique? You want to encourage planning discussions, and every plan should include contingency plans. You want to bring up potential roadblocks and encourage your people to do the same. Remember, every potential roadblock is an if/then coaching opportunity.

The second thing you do is this: you empathize. It's the best way to let people know you've heard them, that you take their concern seriously, that you haven't discounted what they said.

The third thing is this: if you really want to supercharge your if/then coaching, make it "if, then, and because." Here's an example we can all relate to: "If you start to feel overwhelmed, then give me a call because we can take some things off your plate." That's a good example of the if/then/because coaching technique.

If/then coaching is really effective in team settings, too. Try this: if someone raises a challenge, then ask the group for ideas because someone probably has a good thought. Now, if you were listening closely, you heard me just use the technique again.

If/then coaching doesn't take a lot of time, but you have to be approachable and you have to listen for can't-because thinking.

One final coaching point: once you give if/then advice, stop talking. Let it sink in. Punctuate your advice with silence, and here's why: silence makes people uncomfortable. So what do they do? They fill the dead air. They feel compelled to say something, and they'll often raise additional concerns. Once you get them going, they're going to have more to come. And each concern they raise is one more coaching opportunity that's going to help you build their confidence, build their focus, and build their plan.